Published on
August 31, 2008 in
General.
I’m not being a very good Libra lately… Seriously I have major issues balancing personal correspondence online with more website/business oriented communications. I can be pretty sure the MTV True Life I was part of aired again because I’ve gotten another heap of WONDERFUL and LOVELY emails from all kinds of people. I do read everything I get and I swear to you that it means the world to me. I don’t always know what to say in response. So in general I just want to say thank you to everyone who has any sort of support or understanding for me. I sometimes feel that my life has been put up against more challenges than most, and I often put myself down for all the failures that have happened. But when I read what you guys write it really makes me feel better and try to focus on the good things. Instead of the bad.
On a side note, the Harley Davidson 105th anniversary is driving me INSANE. The noise level is absolutely ridiulous. I haven’t been able to sleep because of the street party that goes on until, oh, I don’t know, 4AM!? Harley’s are notoriously loud if you didn’t know that, so they like to show off by revving their engines and seeing who can be the loudest. Which is all fine if that floats your boat. But can’t you please just do that during the day… or, I’ll even let you do it two blocks to the north (where I won’t be able to hear shit)?!?!?! I’m a total headcase because I don’t have my quiet downtime. I’ve been running on empty for awhile and now… I’m running on empty with an extra dose of rage combined with anxiety and it’s burning me out. I have so many things going through my mind constantly but I continually end up doing nothing because of all the crazy noise outside and inside of my life. I’m pretty sure everything is just one big blur to me now.
Anyways, thanks MTV visitors! My site is still testing out the waters and growing all the time, but with your help it will be amazing… I know it!
Enjoy? Let's get cozy over coffee.
Published on
August 27, 2008 in
General.
I’m trying really god damn hard to stay on top of my game lately. But I’ve been failing miserably. The optimist inside me was really hoping I just had some weird case of the hormone blues, or was just having one of those days. Things haven’t changed much though. I feel really low, and very alone. And doing real simple stuff is becoming quite a task for me. Our lovely doctors would call this a textbook case of Major Depression (which is what I have, though I learned the term unipolar and like that a bit better). I think things that would normally not bother me, just… DO. And I hate to say that’s it’s something like brain chemistry because it seems like an easy way out. But, I really think that’s why it’s happening. I mean, my life hasn’t changed much. I’ve been doing the day to day just fine. Maybe it’s just a collective of things. Maybe it’s that my Social Anxiety is getting worse and not better. Maybe it’s that I haven’t been embraced by a lover in years. Maybe it’s that everyone else’s lives are changing right now, and mine is still the same. I don’t know. I do love my first born baby here (blog was first, Daisy was second) and I always wish to see it grow. But man, shit’s tough!
On to more mundane things, the 105th annual Harley Davidson festival is going on here in Milwaukee. And all I hear is NON-STOP motorcycle engines. I grew up living in a house adjacent to a highway so the noise doesn’t bother me too much. But during the day when I’m out walking, it drives me a bit nuts! Sure yay Harley’s are the greatest things in the world… now can you please turn the volume down a bit. Can someone explain to me, why the louder the motorcycle, the better? I mean, with cars you like them to be as quiet as possible, purr even. And a big noisy car with no muffler or windows would seem quite silly wouldn’t it? I know, I know it’s more of a culture than a ‘bike thing’ but me no likey. Okay, I had a lot more recent stuff to write about but it’s all seeming more and more irrelevant as I go on (besides, I like the here and now a lot more). I need to sleep for a long, long time and wake up from this ridiculous slumber. Oh, and I’m really, truly sorry my updates haven’t been constant. Thing will get better. I just need to wait this out I think… wait, a really, really, realllly long time apparently… “If left untreated, a typical major depressive episode will last for about six months” via Wikipedia.
Enjoy? Let's get cozy over coffee.
Published on
August 21, 2008 in
General.
(Ahaha, I like the video! I’m a superstar!) Okay so I’ve been laying low again. Tsk on me. I really just haven’t been feeling up to par. I’m considering taking this up with my psychologist because there really is no logical reason for me to be so lethargic all the time! I mean, personally I’d rather be boring than depressed and suicidal. So it’s a tough call when you’re taking psych meds. It’s frustrating really when every time you mention something like, “I’ve been really forgetful lately. I’m always losing things.” I’m met with, it’s probably a side affect of all the meds you’re taking. I know I’ve got the loss of appetite and libido. As well as the lethargy. Geh! I’m just not sure what to do about it. My life is pretty normal and calm right now which you’d think I’d be loving, but I’m really just tired all the time. I guess this is that ‘zombie effect’ people were always warning me about. Poo poo. I don’t know exactly what to do. Well, I’m off to drop off my car to get fixed. The AC broke and somebody broke the lock on my passenger side, and my cigarette lighter (AKA: pivotal GPS charger) shorted out. So I hope to get all those little things worked out soon. I’m off! Wish me luck.
Enjoy? Let's get cozy over coffee.
Published on
August 18, 2008 in
General.
Published on
August 12, 2008 in
General.
Here’s a post about coming to terms with the harsh realities of living alone.
- Cooking. Uhhh let’s just say I’ve lost some weight.
- Cleaning. Another one of those ‘ings that doesn’t tickle my fancy. But hey, less cooking means less cleaning!
- Pests. I’m terrified of bugs and… mice. Last night a mouse woke me up in the middle of the night. And in a vintage home like this, spiders at home just as much as me. Gahhhh!
- Garbage. Ohhh yeahhhh! I’m suppose to take that out sometimes, right??
- Laundry. I like to “save the earth” and wear things several times before doing laundry. (What, it really does cut down on water usage!?)
- Morning. Haven’t seen it since my school days with mom screaming in my face and flipping all the blinds open. (Just kidding, but I try to avoid mornings at all cost.)
- Parking and driving. Being in the city, both suck. But mostly parking. Four tickets so far I believe. Nooo good. Boo.
- Landlords. Seriously, this is a special breed of people that hates other people. Bastards are really good at taking my money.
The end. And yes a mouse woke me up at 4am last night. It was hard to get back to sleep after that!
Enjoy? Let's get cozy over coffee.
Published on
August 12, 2008 in
General.
A great resource for anyone looking to save a retiring breeding bitch. Includes tips on getting her spayed, introducing them home and lots more!
read more | digg story
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